In Media Mortem

There are 41 posts on the Sir Tortuga Household Blog right now, only two or three of which are 'filler' posts. It seems to have a small if silent following -- which pretty much describes my erotic writing career. I know most amateur authors complain about comments (and the lack thereof) and I hate whining, but I've never gotten more than a handful of comments about any one story. Choices has generated the most comments over it's life (I first wrote it over ten years ago, and I still get a random comment or two from its place on ASSTR.)

Choices also has a very low rating on Stories OnLine, which I think explains the comments, there's something deeply unsatisfying about the story, yet it is obviously well written and constructed. It's supposed to be unsatisfying and disturbing, so I know that story is a success. It might seem odd that I see an extremely low rating, and very bad scores as a success, but really it means that I touched something in someone, and they reacted.

What upsets me is mediocrity. I'm sure that there are a set of users on SoL (maybe around 5-10% of it's user base) that religiously rate stories. Stories which they liked but don't stand out for them, for whatever reason, get a rating around 7 or 8. SoL then grades on a curve, and lowers the score based on the average rating at the time the ratings were given. Most of mine score slightly above average, but not distinguishably so. The (now two weeks behind) Sir Tortuga Household blog gets that sort of rating, although it seems to have a small, but loyal following.

Again, not complaining, but I bet off more than I could chew with this: daily posts, no definitely end to the story -- and in fact a story that takes some time to develop and mature, leaving me gaps to fill real-world things in as I can. Daily writing, and so on. I thought that it would settle out to a low hum, as has happened when I did daily writing on Cult Of The Turtle. But the simple answer for me is that fiction writing takes more creative effort than opinion/essays so that's not happened. I've felt a bit tapped and unable to work on other projects (and still manage to work and have a social life;)

These things are related of course, as once or twice a week I get a good comment or tweet about the blog, and I get a bit more energy to go forward. It's not vocal enough for me to get the real energy I need, but it's something (and thanks to everyone who has said something to me about it).

This is an In Media Mortem as opposed to a post-mortem, because I'm not ending the blog. I'm thinking about slowing my pace, though to two or three posts a week, but I don't know if that's a good idea or not. Haven't made up my mind yet, but I feel other projects clawing at me for attention. This has always been a problem -- in the middle of working on my (horrible, first draft) Kadja novel, I got the desire to write a complicated bit of code for managing writing a novel. Still a good idea, but I had to push it off -- as I'd made a commitment. Kadja, though, had a projected end. SirTortuga's Household Blog does not. Foolish me.

So, the project takes a lot of energy, and occasionally triggers my fears of mediocrity -- although not always, certainly -- and I'm struggling with what to do with it. I don't know how to get people to read it (or to tell if they are, sometimes). I think it's good, and I think SoL isn't my market. Certainly all of my feedback has been from #fucktoyfriday readers, which seems reasonable as it was inspired by that.

So most of the time it feels like I'm missing some part of the internet where I fit, which is funny to me, as the internet is where I went 20 years ago in order to fit. It's just much bigger now, which forces us to find tighter, more niche communities.

Like I said, this isn't a complaint or a request for praise, but sort of a thought about a big project. It's getting close to novel length -- if you assume an average post length of around 800 words, that's close to 33,000 words. Another month, and I'll have broken the novel length, and that feels really good, too.

SirTortuga's Blog

I've moved his stories and blog over to Posterous. You can read it here. In a lot of ways, it's a blogging experiment: writing every weekday, doing world-building and and plot as I go -- although a lot of it is sitting there in my subconscious as I've sought a story for this world.

It's a world with a secret BDSM society that dates back to Ancient Greece (at least). They have their own culture and mores, while trying to sit invisibly within western culture. (I haven't decided about the Society's existence in non-western culture yet).

The original idea was inspired by the #fucktoyfriday tag on Twitter, which was crated by the user SayNine. I think I've taken it to my own kinky space, but I do think the idea, of using and being used has a strong fantasy component that a lot of people care about. Consent is valued, but the results are more extreme.

I'm writing this as a I go to keep my moving in the winter, and to be able to respond to other people as I can. There is a sort of over-arching plot, but it's a blog and if it ever becomes a burden, or never gains interest, then I can walk away from it. Blogging is a style I'm comfortable with, as I've been doing it in one way or another since 1995 or so. The fantasies aren't hard because they're mostly mine.

I'm going to post this to SoL as well, and possibly some other things, but I'm not sure yet (expect a post about that later). I'm not sure how to maintain the fiction there, but this blog is linked to my author account there, and will give me something to link to.

Anyway, I hope you're enjoying it, and I'd like to engage with my readers on it, however that means to them.

SirTortuga's Fucktoy Friday: Fifteen

I met Fifteen in the private playroom off my main suite. The fucktoys call it "The Principal’s Office" because the only reason they ever go there is if something is really bad or really good. He was naked, his hands behind his back, and he was standing with his feet shoulder length apart. His cock wasn’t hard, but Fifteen was a shower, so there’d be something to work with no matter how he was feeling.

"Did you realize you were breaking her limit when you tickled her?" I asked him earlier.

"Yes, Sir" he said. "And I’m sorry for that."

"I’m not the only one you need to apologize to," I said. He didn’t say anything to that, and Iet him talk as I found the bight of the rope I intended to use on him. It was a smooth quarter-inch rope, not soft necessarily, but no rough edges. I’d chosen a black one to contrast well with his skin. Aesthetics matter, even if no one sees it but me.

"So is winning that important?" I asked him. I slid the bight around his waist and began working on the bondage around his cock and balls.

"Not winning," he said. "But the prize..."

He drew his breath in quickly as I separated his balls, wrapping them with the cord-like rope. "You wanted bells dangled from your naughty bits?" I asked.

"I didn’t care bout the entertainment, Sir" he said. "Or the New Year’s Party."

"What then?" I asked, continuing my ropework. His cock was getting hard, which made my work of trapping it even easier.

He didn’t respond, and I let him stew on it for a bit.

My second favorite thing in the world to torture is another man’s cock and balls. Breasts are my favorite target, but cock is a close second. I admired my work as I finished it up --rope was wrapped around the base of his balls, and divided and separated them pulling them away from his body. I finished the rope off around his cock, pulling it tight against his body, giving me a clean shot at his shaft, and each ball.

I pulled a crop from where it hung on the wall, and turned back to him. "What did you care about?" I asked. "What was so important?"

While he considered, I ran the crop over his balls gently,and up his shaft. When he didn’t respond, I started beating them lightly. At this level, I’m sure he liked it, but he knew what was coming, and still he didn’t respond to me.

"You’re lucky that Zee’s team did so well. The point of the contest for me was to find the most suited fucktoys for Carol’s show; you robbed me of that, by cheating," I said. "And now you say you didn’t cheat to win. Why is that?" I punctuated my sentences with strokes of the crop. Every period and comma, apostrophe and semicolon was a strike to one of his balls or the shaft of his cock. He was squirming now, but still didn’t speak.

"Why the competition with Zee?" I asked. "What is the point of all of it?" I continued to beat on his cock and balls, and he continued to be quiet as I tortured him.

He was still quite hard from all this brutal treatment, and in truth, I knew he liked it to some degree. For that reason, this wasn’t his punishment, it was foreplay. I was getting hot and bothered by it,too, and just wanted him to tell me what was up so I could fuck him, and get on with it. But with each strike my anger was growing, and had been over the week, and talking to Zee the day before hadn’t helped.

Finally, I pulled the crop back and looked him in the eye. "Tell me." He said nothing, and I swung the crop down hard on his left ball. He bent over, then, biting his lip so he didn’t cry out, and then he stood back up, and looked me in the eye.

"Is it just to be the best?" I asked. "Is that so very important?" He was silent, so I pulled the crop back again. "Tell me." I swung it down on his cock, harder this time, and he winced in pain, and jerked back. I gave him a moment to resume his stance.

"No, not to be the best," he said, and looked back at me.

"Then why?" I asked. "Tell me, damn it!" I swung the crop again, striking his right ball with the hardest strike yet. He fell to the ground, wincing in pain, and I knelt beside him. Tears were in his eyes from the pain and the struggle, and I knelt there and watched him.

"Damn it, just tell me so I can fuck and punish you and we can be done with this!"

"Promise, Sir? That you’ll fuck me?"

"That’s what I said!"

"It’s not about being the best," he said. "It’s about being your favorite. You take care of your favorites, you love us, and we crave it."

I just looked at him. I take care of my fucktoys, yes. That’s a requirement of having them, but love? What was all this talk of love? I love Lady T. I love some of my submissives, but the fucktoys are fuck toys. They know that going in, it’s part of the agreement.

I looked him over, and saw that his erection had finally subsided, which hadn’t been my goal, but fit with my current plans. I got up and got the chastity device that I’d planned for his punishment. He doesn’t like orgasm control, but it’s not a hard limit, which makes it perfect for this sort of thing.

I unwound his cock and balls, and he sighed as I touched him. He still hadn’t gotten off the floor, but I didn’t need him too. His cock went into a plastic tube that would keep it from getting hard, and it wrapped and tied around his balls. A padlock made sure it wouldn’t come off without my permission, and I was done.

"Two weeks," I told him. "That’s how long you’ll wear it. That’s your punishment from me for breaking the rules. You’ll need to work out what Zee needs for forgiveness amongst yourselves."

"Yes, Sir," he said.

I got up, and walked to the door. "You and your team are working the full shift at the New Year’s Eve party, as well, so you should go get ready."

"But..." he said as he got up to his knees. "You were going to..."

"And I will," I said. "In two weeks when that thing comes off."

"Yes, Sir," he said, and I left him there to go plan my party.

SirTortuga's Fucktoy Blog: 12/30

Today I’m going to have to deal with Fifteen. I’m mostly sure what needs to be done, contingent upon our discussion today. I’d have done this yesterday, but it was a busy day, getting ready for the NYE part, amongst other things. There were a few things that needed my guidance yesterday, but for the most part our household runs itself, and things were mostly ready yesterday.

There’s a few things that need to wait until tomorrow: costumes, food, and final bits of decoration chief among them. Pretty much everything else was already done, or close to being done. I’ve found that having the fucktoy-run Christmas party a week before my big party means most of the kinks --as it were -- are ironed out of the system ahead of time.

My fucktoys kept things running smoothly, while one ran my calendar, the other took charge of my cock. I might have to have dual fucktoys more often, it was a pleasant experience. Of course, the most pleasant experience was giving Zee and her team the tickets.

When I got to her, she was cleaning up one of the play rooms on the second basement level. The room was the one I thought of as "The New Yankee Workshop Gone Bad." While there wasn’t so many large power tools, it was definitely a carpentry shop, with wooden horses, planks, and most of the clamps were like the ones used in carpentry. There was also a wall of power tools that had all been perverted in some way.

When the girls saw me, she rushed over to me, her braid swinging behind her. She gave me a full body hug. "Sir!"

"I’ve got your ticket," I said, and placed it around her neck. (The tickets are almost like badges, since not every attendee has pockets, or clothes.) She kissed me soundly, then. Her nipples had perked up and I wrapped my hands around her breasts.

She moaned as I squeezed them. "Cleaning up down here always makes me horny," she laughed. I kissed her then, putting more pressure on her breasts, and causing her to whimper.

I grabbed her ponytail near the base, and turned her around. I force walked her over to one of the wooden horses and bent her over. One of my fucktoys had unzipped me and pulled my cock out while I bent her over, so I was in her quickly, efficiently and forcefully.

The horse wasn’t really able to support her, but she grabbed the legs, and I pulled back on her hair in part to give her balance,and in part to be rough with her. I am a sadist, after all. I then used my other hand to smack her ass, hard. As my red hand prints appeared on her ass, she squirmed and moved, but was pinned by my body and cock.

She came with the third swat. It took ten for me to come.

Afterwards, she worked some more on the room, moving a bit more gingerly than she had, but with a smile and a glow about her. "How are you feeling about what Fifteen did?" I asked her.

She paused. "I get accidentally tickled all the time, but usually people apologize." It had happened to me, after all, so I just nodded. "And frankly, I’m probably less mad because it ensured my win -- although I’d have preferred to win without the technicality."

"Winning was that important?"

"We all want to be the best for you, Sir."

"But only you two seem to make a competition of it." I think I said it roughly. I was getting frustrated with the dissension and upset all this was causing. But before she answered, in fact before the words were completely out of my mouth, she’d turned away from me, ostensibly to dust something, but also to compose her thoughts or hide her feelings.

"I’m sorry, Sir," she replied, her voice quavering. "I’ll try to avoid it in the future."

"Zee," I said, which made her straighten --I rarely use their names to their faces. "You’re one of the best fucktoys this household has ever had. Trust me on that, okay?"

"Thank you, Sir," she replied. "I need to finish this cleaning, or things will not be ready in time."

I could have forced the issue, but she was right, and I needed to finish my walk-through. Today I deal with Fifteen, and see if I can defuse this problem. The point of having fucktoys was to not deal with this emotional shit. Did they not understand that?

SirTortuga's Fucktoy Blog: 12/29

As normal, I awoke with a wet mouth around my cock. This morning, however, Lady T was also up, her legs up and apart making space for her own fucktoy alarm clock. I turned to her, my fucktoy moving with me, keeping their mouth where it belonged. I gave her a kiss and ran my hands over her breasts, teasing her nipples as I did. She moaned into the kiss, and I squeezed her tits. She was close, so it wasn’t long before she was pressing her crotch into her fucktoy’s face in orgasm.

She stretched, laughing as she rose from bed. “Feel free to use my fucktoy,” she said. “He’s got a good mouth on him.

I pulled the covers back to check on my own fucktoy’s progress. Her brown hair cascaded down over my cock as she sucked. “Ride me,” I said, rolling onto my back. She slid up my body and impaled herself on my cock. Lady T’s fucktoy was watching,his hard-on evident. “Fuck her in the ass,” I said. She shivered as I said it.

He grabbed the lube that beside the bed -- certain things are ubiquitous in my household -- and proceeded to enter her. I could fee him as he slid into her ass. When he was all the way in, I thrust up into her, so that we were both balls-deep into her. She came then, and we began to fuck her in earnest.

I don’t know what it is like for women to have two cocks in her, but as on of the men, it has its own appeal. You can feel the other man’s cock pressing against you through that bit of female flesh, as well as feeling her wrapped around you. In fact it’s even tighter than normal, and that feels pretty good too. As each of you moves, you can feel each other’s cock moving as well, and that sensation has a special place in my heart... or cock.

Soon he was about to come, but by the look on his face, he was fighting it. “Sir,” he gasped, “Permission to come?”

I didn’t know what my wife had planned for him, if he was on some sort of interdiction or orgasm control, but I am the head of my household. If Lady T was upset, she could let me know, but I suspect she would have said something before she left if it was important. “Granted,” I said.

He slammed his cock into her ass, and groaned as he came. She shuddered as he filled her up, coming again. Her cunt grabbed my cock, and I thrust once more before I, too came. We lay there for a moment, just recovering from our orgasms before Lady T’s morning fucktoy backed up and pulled himself out of her ass.

“I should rejoin Lady Tortuga,” he said, and I nodded, letting him leave.

My fucktoy slid off of me, and down my body, and quickly and expertly cleaned me off. I was close to hard again when she was done, but I needed to get up. I turned on the light and looked at her. We have a lot of fucktoys, so I didn’t recognize her right away. Her hair was straight and brown, and came down to her shoulder blades. She was skinnier than I normally liked, but her breasts were huge perfect mounds that were almost too big for her frame. “Where are you in the fucktoy rotation?” I asked.

Her blue eyes caught mine and widened in surprise. I don’t normally talk to my wake-up fucktoys, but then I don’t normally fuck them,either. She looked down, away from me. “I’m not,” she said. “I’m just an intern.”

That explained why she was here -- low on the totem pole, and not really full time. It also explained why I didn’t remember her -- her interview could have been months ago. “Well, you’re in the rotation now,” I said. “Tell today’s fucktoy that the two of you are working together today.”

She brightened and gave me a big white smile. Her nipples crinkled too, which made me smile. Yes, I could see why she passed the interview. “I’ll see you in the shower,” I said. She scampered away then, and I thanked myself for having the foresight for installing a five person sized shower. My bathroom is awesome, but more on that another day.

I took a few moments in the shower to think over my day. I had breakfast with Lady T -- a rare occurrence, but we had party planning to discuss. In fact the NYE party was going to dominate my day. I’d have to look over the preparations, and make sure everything was on schedule. Oh, and give Zee and her team the tickets they’d earned over Christmas. I also wanted to chat with Zee about Fifteen. I need to do something about that soon.

SirTortuga's Fucktoy Blog: Amongst Other Things, an Invitation

Amongst Other Things, an Invitation

It was so cold in the manse this morning the fucktoy assigned to alarm clock duty crawled completely under my two blankets before fixing their mouth about my morning wood and sucking me awake. As I fucked their mouth, I was impressed that they did it without waking Lady Tortuga. Her day is on a different schedule than mine and she needs her sleep. I let myself come quickly, forcing my cock down the fucktoy’s mouth, quickly and hard.

I have a lot to do today.

First, I need to decide what to do about Fifteen. He broke the rules of the House, although it was a minor infraction, and he may have been pushed a bit to do it. Lady Tortuga reminded me that the contests itself was at fault, really. I like our merit system, it helps when we’re deciding what fucktoys to keep and which ones contracts we don’t renew. And it helps determine which ones are better at the job, and well, while quantity of sex is good, I want quality. The merit system encourages it and helps me pick.

Plus a lot of them get better servant jobs in other houses, and their merit here helps or hinders that as is appropriate. Still, as always, Lady Tortuga has a point. Today I need to decide what I’m doing, so that I can do it. As we’re not doing fucktoy interviews this Friday, either, I’ll be writing up Fifteen’s punishment for this. I’m enjoying this blogging thing, and I’d love to know what some of the other people out there think. Feel free to let me know!

And speaking of everyone out there in the community, don’t forget that our big New Year’s Eve party is this weekend. We’ve got a buffet, an entertainment hall with lots of nice kinky stations, as well as a series of private rooms. Since we’re a private establishment, all I ask is that you use the house rules: safewords on the stoplight system, clean up your fluids and wax, and use the fucktoys for your pleasure, within their limits.

Since I’m blogging this year, I’ll be doing an after-party write-up the first week of the new year. Please feel free to leave your own comments and impressions of the party on that post, or on your own blogs -- all I ask is that you let me know so I collect a group of links.

So think about it. You can contact me directly on twitter or send me an email.

Also, I’m interested in finding a bigger desk. This one is nice, but I can barely get one fucktoy under it, much less two.

Bloggery Stuff

Joe Tortuga here, just talking a bit about what I'll be doing here soon. Hopefully for reals this time. You'll have noticed the Sir Tortuga posts, feel free to follow him/me on twitter. He's SirTortuga on twitter, and I'm JoeTortuga. JoeTortuga's twitter is going to be more chatty and game-design oriented, while the latter is going to be more kinky, with a spike of posts on Fridays. Story announcements (if you're not on RSS) will go to both, but SirTortuga gets them first, and a bit more descriptively. Yes we're the same person, although SirTortuga is more of a character/persona/fantasy. He's not kinkier than I am, he just has more resources to make it part of his life.

Some of the blog posts here will be by SirTortuga, and some will be by me, and some will be fiction. Sir Tortuga's style is bloggery, but his will all be tagged as sirtortuga. I'd love to have the posts appear to come as him, but all my email addresses are tied up in my google account,and that's how you log in here. I'd host the blogs myself, but my current provider (a good one) doesn't like porn, and I don't want to push it. I'd host it myself, but I've had local server problems, and just want out of that business. If there's somewhere better to be, that gives me the flexibility (does wordpress.com let you host porn?), I'd go there in a heartbeat.

Since FucktoyFriday is a community phenomenon (albeit started by Twitter users saynine), I want to return the posts here back to that same community. Posts about that from SirTortuga both here and on twitter later this week. I'm also starting to decide what my writing priorities will be for the next year, and FucktoyFriday is going to be part of it, so I hope folks like it.

Speaking up is a good way of letting me know about this stuff;)

Anyway, expect a post form the Sir tomorrow or Wednesday, and a short story on Friday, and, hopefully, something more fun next week as we reminisce about New Year's.